慈濟傳播人文志業基金會
Sharing the Load

Stress levels invariably increase in a family as the condition of a dementia sufferer inexorably deteriorates. Caretakers need physical and mental support to help shoulder the heavy burden they carry for the ones they love.

One doctor visiting another: Dr. Ye Tian-hao (left) of TIMA chats with Zeng Tian-fu, dubbed “the doctor of home appliances” for his repair work at a recycling station.

Xu Wei-yun always kept her home spotlessly clean. The furniture, the windows, and even the leaves of the potted plants on the balcony were clean and shiny, displaying the pride of a dutiful housewife.

On this day, platefuls of peanuts, biscuits, and bananas and apples cut to bite size were set on a table in the living room. A pot of burdock tea was brewing in the kitchen. Seeing all this preparation, Zeng Tian-fu, Xu’s husband, sauntered into the kitchen and asked her, “Is someone from my hometown coming to visit?”

Xu did not bother to answer her husband’s inquiry. He had already asked her that same question several times, and she had repeatedly replied that Dr. Ye Tian-hao of the Tzu Chi International Medical Association and other volunteers were coming to visit. Zeng did not even remember that he had asked the question before, to say nothing of his wife’s answer.

House calls

Zeng, nearly 80, was diagnosed with Alz­heimer’s disease four years ago, in 2012. He has taken medication since then to try to slow down the progression of the disease and preserve his vanishing memory. Though his condition seems to have stabilized, his family members know better. They have been caring for him day in and day out. They know that they are losing him as his memory slips away, bit by bit.

Although Xu knew that her husband was afflicted with Alzheimer’s, she—a perfectionist—had not always been able to remain unruffled when he displayed symptoms of the disease, such as forgetting things as soon as he was told or talking about the old days over and over again. Sometimes she felt so agitated that she thought she was on the verge of losing her sanity. It is no wonder she really looked forward to the volunteers’ visit.

Home visits like this were part of a nine-session memory upkeep course in March and April 2016. The course was jointly offered by the TIMA Kaohsiung branch, Dalin Tzu Chi Hospital, Kaohsiung Chang Gung Memorial Hospital, and the National Chung Cheng University Department of Athletic Sports. It was designed to help slow the progression of memory loss among dementia patients, but a second purpose was to offer a measure of relief to the caretakers. “In fact, family members have a tougher time than the patients themselves,” said Dr. Ye. So TIMA organized volunteers including physicians and pharmacists to visit the homes of dementia patients who attended the courses, to give family members a respite from their daily grind.

The first family that they visited was the Zengs.

They need encouragement

As soon as the group of volunteers had arrived and sat down in the Zengs’ living room, Xu asked her first question: “Dr. Ye, can you take a look at his medications for me?”

Ye inspected the medications. “This is B12 to help repair nerves. And this is for Alzheimer’s disease. Taking too much of this may trigger vomiting.”

Xu was glad to find someone who knew what he was talking about. “Isn’t that the truth!” she exclaimed. “One time he forgot that he’d already taken the medicine, so he took it again, and he had a bad fit of vomiting. My son and I were scared to death.”

Ye took a picture of each medication and said, “Home visits allow us to more clearly understand a patient’s situation, which helps our team to provide more comprehensive care.”

“Mr. Zeng, do you know what day it is?” asked nurse Huang Bao-yan (黃寶燕). Zeng thought and thought before finally shaking his head no.

“He’s been like this,” Xu said, unable to suppress the urge to dig up an anecdote from the mound of his past behavior that had nearly driven her up the wall. “The other day, not long after Chinese New Year, he kept bugging me for red envelopes to give away again.” [Giving others red envelopes containing money is a tradition during Chinese New Year.] Volunteer Chen Mei-yue (陳美月) held Xu’s hand in understanding.

“Mr. Zeng, what’s his name?” Huang asked him again, pointing to a man, Cai Nai-rong (蔡迺榮), sitting beside him. Zeng took a long look at him and slowly said, “I know him. That’s Cai.”

He had remembered. His reply made everybody hopeful again. Cai had often volunteered with Zeng at a Tzu Chi recycling station, where Zeng often helped fix discarded electric fans. Though he had lost a clear sense of time and reality, he seemed to still remember bits of information about things he loved.

Pharmacist Chen Hong-yan (陳紅燕) suggested to Xu to let her husband share a few household chores, which would make him think and move about more. “But I’m afraid that he won’t know how, and the dishes will still be dirty,” Xu responded. Zeng, who had until then been listening quietly, suddenly turned to his wife, lightly tapped her forehead, and said, “You always say bad things about me.”

Everyone went still for a second, and then they burst into laughter at Zeng’s endearing reaction. His response told everyone that dementia patients were not oblivious to everything, and that they needed encouragement and praise to help them stay confident so they would not shut themselves out of the world. “Let’s all be optimistic,” said Dr. Ye. “Keeping things the way they are is progress.”

“You know, he has always been a gentle soul. He’s never lost his temper,” Xu said as she looked at her husband, her love and feelings for him obvious in her voice.

Another little thing showed the visitors how much the wife still cherished her husband. Even though Zeng had already forgotten that he had made some clay strawberries and red peppers in a session of the memory upkeep course, Xu still kept them in a glass credenza to display as if they were some kind of treasure.

Obviously, whether or not his memory would decline more, Zeng would continue to be cherished and treasured by his family.

Xu is tickled when Zeng offers her a snack.

 

Fall 2016